If Only I Could Read His Mind
by Blame-It-On-The-Alcohol
Summary: Ever wondered what Kurt and Blaine's thoughts about each other were before they got together? How about they tell you themselves...straight from their journals! Romance and angst, and some humor too. Lots of Wes and David subplots! Rated T for language.
1. Prologue

Hi, I decided to update and put a prologue into my story.

Basically, this is a Klaine fanfic, from 'Never Been Kissed' to 'Original Songs' and possibly more, I haven't decided yet. At first it pretty much sticks to the storyline, but at Silly Love Songs it deviates into my own personal storyline.

There's a lot of angst, romance and some humour as well, especially in the Wavid subplots. (They feature quite heavily in this fic because everyone loves Wavid :))

**I LOVE reviews, they make my day. If you have an opinion, or an idea, or a thought, about my story, please don't be shy to review! I jump around like a frog on LSD when I get them, no matter how long or short.**

**And most of all, thank you for picking my story to read! I can promise you that you won't be disappointed if you keep reading.**

**Biota xxx**

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><p>Prologue: Thoughts<p>

Two lives, completely separate until a chance meeting that would turn into a chain of events nobody expected.

One, a confident, bright and ambitious diva in a Prada jacket, with skin the colour of winter snow and a voice that could rival Faith Hill.

The other, a kind and generous and popular boy with chocolate-brown hair that refused to be tamed, and his singing and dancing would steal the show.

Both had secrets. Both had scars. Both had cards they revealed and cards they held to their chest. Both were missing just one puzzle piece from their jigsaw, and both had no idea where to find it.

Neither knew how things would turn out in the end. Neither do you.

You can see their every action. You can hear their every word.

But you don't know what they're thinking.

Or do you?

This is where you find out.

Here, you can see what they REALLY thought about everything that happened in those few, life-changing months.

And how everything could have been so much simpler.

But that just wouldn't have been any fun, would it?


	2. Never Been Kissed

If Only I Could Read His Mind- Chapter 1: Never Been Kissed

Kurt's POV:

_Omigod I met the CUTEST guy today! And he's ACTUALLY GAY! Of course, he's so darned good looking and such a celebrity at his school that he probably has a boyfriend, but he PLAYS ON MY TEAM! Finally, I at least have a shot._

_Puck, Finn, Artie and Mike all suggested I spy on the Dalton Academy Warblers. Apparently it was a distraction so they could come up with the costumes for the mash-up performance. Typical…I had the most awesome outfits planned…however they did involve 36 different varieties of silk, and I'm not sure if Puck even knows what silk is, so I guess I see their point. But seeing as Dalton's an all-boys school, I was quite happy to go. No, diary, that makes me sound sick-minded! I meant it would be quite cool to see what kind of vocals an all-male a cappella voice group has._

_On my way to see the Warblers perform, I met the lead singer, Blaine. My first thoughts were "OMG what in the name of Marc Jacobs is a kid this hot doing in a glee club?" But he wasn't a mean popular kid; he seemed really nice. Not that modest though. ('The Warblers are like rock stars!' 'Course you'd say that, you're the lead singer.)_

_Well, my spying attempt bombed (they were amazing though; am feeling slightly intimidated for Sectionals) but thankfully, instead of introducing me to the school dumpster, Blaine and two other guys actually took me for coffee in the school cafeteria. I was really nervous and just blurted out what I was thinking, "Umm…are you guys all gay?" Instant thought: Great, now I'll be making acquaintance with the dumpster, but they just laughed. And Blaine said, "Well, I am, but these guys have girlfriends." Instant thought: OMFG! I think I've just found the only hot gay kid in this unattractive homophobic county! AND he's nice! AND he has friends! Wait, is that even possible? Suddenly, I found myself breaking down and telling him all about that damn Neanderthal Karofsky. He was really comforting and he said that he regretted running away from his bullies and I should confront mine. He sent me like 200 texts that day, all saying 'Courage'. It was sweet_

_Next time that brainless Neanderthal shoved me against a locker, I actually came into the locker room and yelled at him! I called him a 'scared little boy' and then I saw something flash in his eyes. I figured a fist was about to be coming my way but then he KISSED ME! Major shock. I pushed him away. I felt really depressed afterwards, that was not how I wanted my first real kiss to turn out. Blaine came down to the school and helped me try and confront Karofsky, but he got seriously defensive and ran off. (I almost feel sorry for him, but then I remember my slushie facials and I kind of lose sympathy.) But Blaine bought me lunch, which I suppose made things a little better._

_So, I guess a mixed day, diary. Gotta go now, Blaine's sent me a text. _

_Kurt x_

Blaine's POV:

**Whoa! Today was seriously weird. I met a cute guy, (shame he's emotionally scarred and would probably never go for me, he's way too handsome-plus he's in a rival glee club) and then helped said cute guy confront his homophobic closeted Neanderthal bully, who for some reason decided to kiss him instead of breaking his nose. Yep, my life's definitely exciting.**

**We were doing an impromptu performance in the hall, where I saw a kid coming down the stairs. I couldn't help but think "That guy's really cute! How come I haven't seen him before?" but I stopped myself. Not about to randomly freak out a new, probably straight kid, and ruin any chance of new Warblers material. We got chatting before the performance and I found out his name's Kurt. Yep, very cute name to go with very cute face. But for some reason I had to go and make myself sound stupid. "The Warblers are like rock stars!" Way to make yourself sound modest, Blaine. Way to go. Really.**

**He was watching during the performance and I couldn't help but stare at him for the entire thing. His eyes were this gorgeous colour-somewhere in the middle of green and blue, like they couldn't make their mind up which colour-and his skin was literally white. Porcelain white. I was surprised he was such a bad spy, because being that colour he could have just camouflaged against the marble. Yep, he's from the McKinley High New Directions, which means he's our competition. Sigh. Even less chance. At least it means I'll see him again, though. **

**Afterwards, me and Wavid (Wes and David, my two best friends of all time) took Kurt for coffee. He looked nervous as hell during the whole thing, I think he thought we were vampires who were going to eat him or something! Then he just blurts out "Are you guys…all…gay?" Great, I thought, because I thought he meant it in a stereotypical homophobic way. But, as it turns out, he's gay too (YES!) and he's been getting hell from the people at his school. So I figured I could help him. In a way, he reminds me a lot of myself when I was getting bullied. But he's clearly a lot stronger, because he hasn't run away-yet. **

**I sent him exactly 157 texts that day, all saying 'Courage'. I hope he doesn't think that's too stalkerish. Oh god, what if he does? Then I've just spent $10 on credit just to alienate the cutest, sweetest and most genuine guy I've seen in a very long time! Seriously Blaine, well done, you have fantastic people skills. Sarcasm. But I think it might have helped him, because he confronted the guy, and the guy KISSED KURT! When I heard that, two emotions pulsed through me. Empathy for Kurt, who must be completely confused and unhappy, and was the second one-jealousy? No! No, of course not. How can I be jealous? Kurt's just my friend. FRIEND. Get it into your head, Blaine. F-R-I-E-N-D. All right, I'm OK. So I came down to confront said bully, but he shoved me into the fence (Kurt yelled at him for me. Really sweet, don't you think?) so I'm guessing he's not coming out any time soon. **

**So, a very unusual day, diary. I'm gonna go now and maybe send Kurt a text. No, that would be stupid. But I'm gonna do it anyway, I guess. By the way, diary, please hide yourself better in the bookcase-if Wes or David find that I have a diary disguised as a cookbook, they are going to rip the piss out of me. **

**Blaine x**


	3. The Substitute

Chapter 2: The Substitute

Kurt's POV

_Blaine is so damn perfect! He lets me forget all that's going on. Especially with the Neanderthal. I don't want to even think about what happened with Karofsky today. Great, now I'm thinking about it, and that just makes me scared._

_There was a new sub in Glee this week because Mr. Schue's got some kind of monkey flu. She was amazing! Like, forty, but could still sing! Plus, any sub who role-plays a bipolar Mary Todd Lincoln is a good sub in my book :)_

_Well, I've been spending a load of time with Blaine this week. We have so much in common! Plus we just chat for hours about gay rights stuff. Between you and me, I think he's glad to have a gay friend he can actually talk to about this stuff. Friend…insert sigh here. But anyway, me spending loads of time with Blaine kind of pushed out 'Cedes, and considering she's majorly pissed over them taking out those 'tater tots' in school under Sue's command, I tried to set her up on a date. Do you think it was stupid to set her up with one of the 2 black guys in school? Yep? Damn. She thought so, anyway. _

_I actually told her that she was subbing food for love and our friendship for a romantic relationship. (She'd snuck tots into school, and the last thing I want is for Sue Sylvester to drag 'Cedes off to her bat cave.) Thank god she listened! _

_But…when 'Cedes walked off, the Neanderthal came to my locker and threatened to kill me if I told anyone about him kissing me. I can't actually believe someone threatened…to kill me. And he looked like he meant it. Not that I was planning to out him anyway, but it still shakes me to the core. If someone finds out, then I'm dead. I can't let that happen._

_Bye, diary. _

_Kurt x_

Blaine's POV

**Kurt is so damn perfect! But we're just friends. Does that sound convincing? Thought not. Yes, I like him. But it's so obvious he just wants to be friends. He's never met any other out gay guys before, (I'm not surprised-his school is totally homophobic, I almost feel sorry for Karofsky-oh, wait, no I don't) so I'm not taking advantage of that. But still…**

**OK, I'm babbling. I'm so worried about Kurt! I have a feeling he had a bust-up with Karofsky or something, because when I saw him after school and mentioned Karofsky, he went white (if it's possible to be any more white than his current, very fetching porcelain shade), coughed and changed the subject. I saw real fear in his eyes.**

**We have so much in common! I met him and his best friend Mercedes at BreadstiX (she seemed nice, but a bit bored by the constant gay rights chatter-guess I can't blame her) and we like all the same stuff-books, music, etc. **

**I need to stop babbling about Kurt! Why can't I just get him out of my head already? We're friends and he wants it to stay that way! Pull yourself together, Blaine! Gah…**

**Bye, diary.**

**Blaine x**


	4. Furt

Chapter 3: Furt

Kurt's POV

_Oh. My. Fruitcaking. God. These past 2 weeks have been completely insane in so many different ways! I now have a stepbrother who used to be my crush, and am in a school with the guy I have been secretly crushing on for weeks (but we're just friends) because another guy who has a crush on me threatened to kill me. What in the name of Marc Jacobs is happening to my life?_

_It all started when Dad and Carole strolled into school one morning and told Finn and me that they were engaged! I immediately started planning the wedding in my head, whilst Finn was doing a great dying goldfish impression. (I do think he's happy though, just shocked.) I suggested to them that the New Directions should perform at the ceremony, (major savings on a band) and they agreed :) _

_But as soon as they went off, that damn Neanderthal came up to me and just…terrorised the hell out of me. (He also took the figurine of the married couple I was going to put on top of the cake, and hell, that REALLY pissed me off.) It takes a lot to make me go to Sue Sylvester, but I did. (I didn't tell her anything about the kiss though, because I value my life.) She couldn't do anything unless he attacked me, though, so I figured I'd leave. However, I did get a new nickname: Porcelain. It was that or Tickle-Me-Doeface. Which would you have picked?_

_What was really sweet was that the guys in the Glee club all stood up for me and confronted Karofsky-except, weirdly, Finn. I didn't say anything to him about it, but I was a bit upset. Sam, Mike and even Artie were great though. It would appear the girls put them up to it. It's not their fight, but I was still grateful._

_I was attempting to teach Finn the wedding dance (not the easiest task: he has the coordination skills and dance ability of a cardboard box) with Dad, when Karofsky made the huge mistake of making homophobic gestures when we were dancing together. (Sicko! We're stepbrothers!) Dad ran after him and put him in a headlock (I love my family) and I ended up telling Dad almost everything, except the kiss. He ended up getting expelled! _

_The wedding was gorgeous (my russet & cognac theme worked fantastically) AND Finn apologised for not being there to help me and that he would in future. Just as it seemed that everything was going perfect…I find out Karofsky's not actually expelled. I knew I had to get out of there (even though all the guys offered to help me, and so did, strangely, Sue-I think she likes me for some reason) and leaving Finn and 'Cedes was the worst experience of my life. But I'm safe at Dalton now, and at McKinley I think I might have died from slushy asphyxiation._

_Yep, I transferred to Blaine's school, Dalton, and joined the Warblers! Seeing as Blaine and me see each other every day now, maybe there's a chance…No. Stop it, Kurt. Seriously. This is getting old._

_Still…_

Kurt x

Blaine's POV

**Oh. My.** **God. Kurt is at my school! Still gorgeous, still emotionally ripped to shreds…and I'm still totally in the friend zone. Sigh. It's so obvious that he doesn't like me. STOP IT! Sorry, Diary, you must be bored to tears. Probably if I write down the word 'Kurt' one more time, you'll just crawl into the fireplace and burn yourself to cinders. **

**I guess I should just concentrate on being Kurt's friend. **

**That Neanderthal terrorised Kurt out of McKinley. If I could see him, I would rip his head off his damn shoulders, I don't care that I'm a hobbit. (Yes, I'm a total hobbit, and that's why I climb on furniture when I sing…although I'd rather die painfully than let Wavid know that, even though they already suspect it, let alone Kurt). But anyway, it's obvious how upset Kurt is, so I'll be a friend and show him around and smile and not give a single inkling that I might be in love with him…**

**Shit! Did I just write that down? If Wavid get hold of you now, Diary, I'm completely screwed! Where's that heavy-duty padlock?**

**Gotta go, Diary. I promised Kurt I'd take him for coffee.**

**Blaine x **


	5. Special Education

Chapter 4: Special Education

**NOTE: Hi guys, thank you so much for all the hits and especially to the 2 people who have given me reviews! Remember, reviews make me write better stuff! (Feel free to put any suggestions in reviews).**

**So glad you've enjoyed my first Fanfic so far. Now, here's the bad news: I have final exams this week, so I probably won't have a chance to update until Friday night. Next week's half term for me though, so you'll be getting lots of juicy Klaine then! **

**Edit: Oh, and I've also decided…you know for the past 4 chapters they've basically just been drooling about each other, right? Well, in the next chapter, they're gonna start doing something about it! They're each going to devise their own plan to get the guy…any suggestions, please review and tell me!**

**BIOTA xxx**

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><p>Chapter 4: Special Education<p>

Kurt's POV

_Sectionals have come and gone, and both us and the New Directions have gone through to Regionals! Best possible outcome I think, because we've gone through, and so have all my friends! When the outcome came out Blaine started dancing around like the cutest hobbit in the world. His eyes are so shiny and gorgeous when he's happy-STOP IT! *whacks self on head with diary* _

_OMG, if Blaine could see you, diary, he'd think I was a stalker. _

_I auditioned for Sectionals with 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' (Rachel's suggestion, and as much as I may wish to asphyxiate her sometimes, she does know killer ballads like nobody else). Unfortunately, that doesn't appear to be the Warblers' thing, and I didn't get it. Blaine actually came out and told me that the Warblers were a group, so try not to get noticed. Adorable or not, I did get pissed at him a bit then. He's the LEAD SINGER! Who is he to tell me not to get noticed? But I figured I'd follow his advice, because I really want to make friends with some of the Warblers._

_Also, I got a canary! His name is Pavarotti (and he has a voice to rival Pavarotti himself) and I think I'm in love! I always did want a bird, their sense of style is impeccable (goldfish were never an option, their bowls get really disgusting-and as for cats and dogs, you do know that they're never actually clean, they're just covered in spit) but Mum loved birds so I never got one in case it was too painful for Dad. The newest Warbler cares for Pavarotti, and so whenever I see anyone else approaching the Warblers audition sign-ups, I always cross my fingers that they won't sign up…luckily nobody else has yet._

_Mum…she'd know what to do about this whole Blaine thing. I love Dad, I really do, but he can't make toast without burning it, and he has never had a way with words. I wouldn't know how to ask for his help, and what could he do?_

_Sectionals went smoothly, Blaine of course got the solo, but he does have the vocals of an angel-and I swear, at one point in the song, he was singing directly to me. (Not that big a deal, he was singing to everyone at some point, but my heart still raced.)_

_What wouldn't I give to be able to read Blaine's mind!_

_Bye diary, I'm off for a sleepover with 'Cedes and Rachel :) _

_Kurt x_

Blaine's POV

**Sectionals went great! We're through to Regionals, along with Kurt's old Glee Club, the New Directions. (I'll admit, they were great, and I'm glad for Kurt that they're through.) **

**Kurt suggested a song for Sectionals as soon as he walked in the door (he didn't know about the Council and all that, I'm guessing it worked differently in the New Directions) and when his idea got shot down, the look in his eyes made my heart melt. So I ran after him afterwards and said that the Council rewarded good ideas, so he could audition for a solo. (It took a lot of convincing to make that happen, but thankfully Wavid and Thad are all my friends, so with a half hour of persuading and several packets of Peanut M&Ms as bribery, they eventually agreed.)**

**His song was amazing! Unfortunately, the guys didn't like it much (we're more Top 40 than musicals) so I had to go out and tell him. His expression…it made me want to tell him he'd made it, but I knew no amount of M&Ms was going to get me out of that one. I tried giving him advice, but again, my incredibly developed social skills (sarcasm) made me land flat on my face again. "You'll never make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed." He nodded, but his expression was screaming the same thing I'd realised; Of course you'd say that, you don't need to get noticed, you're the lead singer! *facepalm***

**But anyway, Sectionals went really well, and we have a joint 1****st**** place trophy to place in the trophy cabinet at school. Kurt looked so happy when we won…**

**ARGH! It's so FRUSTRATING liking someone who you know doesn't like you back! **

**What wouldn't I give to be able to read Kurt's mind…**

**Blaine x**


	6. A Very Glee Christmas

**I found time to update! My traffic's gone low over the past few days and I'm missing the reviews…remember, they make me write better :) BIOTA x**

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><p>Chapter 5: A Very Glee Christmas<p>

Kurt's POV

_That is IT! I am sick and tired of Blaine sending off all these mixed signals! I am fed up of having to pretend that I'm OK when I'm completely not! I AM NOT COOL WITH BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK!_

_That's right. I'm in love with Blaine. And it's completely killing me inside. So I'm going to do something about it._

_Last night, Blaine told me he had a gig at the 'King's Island Christmas Spectacular' singing Baby It's Cold Outside. (I hate that place-it has all the charm and magic of a cardboard box.) He looked into my eyes with that puppy-dog expression that always melts my heart, and said "Will you practice it with me?" When we'd finished practicing, it was all I could do not to grab him and kiss him right there. I'm still not sure how I restrained myself, actually. I guess I've had a lot of practice._

_(I snuck out to see him the next day at King's Island. Would you believe who the girl he'd got the duet with was? Rachel Berry. And, of course, she was damn fantastic, and I heard two girls next to me whisper, "I can't believe he's got a girlfriend, I would totally give him my number." Great. As if I didn't have enough competition within my own gender, I've also got competition from the opposite one as well. I guess I felt a bit smug that they at least have less chance than me, but if Blaine turns out to be bi I am completely screwed.)_

_But after that, Mr. Schue came in asking about Sue's Christmas gift. (He came to the right place.) Before I even knew what I was saying, I told Mr. Schue I was in love with Blaine. I told my former show choir's teacher before I told Blaine-before I even told myself. But I guess that was the jolt that it took to make me realise and take action. After all, you can get over a crush (again, have had practice in that area) but you can't get over love. _

_So, I've decided what I'm going to do. I'm going to make him notice me. Every chance I get, I'm going to be the fabulous Kurt Hummel that is me and eventually he's going to realise that and fall in love with me. Right? Right?_

_Wow, I think I just learned what it's like to be desperate. Which makes me even more determined that this plan MUST work._

_Operation Fabulous is ON!_

_Kurt x_

Blaine's POV

**Every day I see Kurt walk down the halls and my heart completely stops. His dress sense, his gorgeous unique eyes (I've found out the name of the colour: Glasz-it even sounds amazing) and the way he smiles at me. A friendly smile. Friend. I'm really growing to detest that word.**

**But I've got an idea. I'm not going to like it, and neither is he, but if it brings us together, it's totally worth it.**

**I got a gig with that girl Rachel Berry from Kurt's old Glee Club. 'Baby It's Cold Outside'. My favourite Christmas song, but singing it with a girl would completely ruin all the sentiments…but I need the money, so I decided not to kick up a fuss. If I tried to sing it with a guy in this county, that would be social suicide, and as much as I pretend not to care about homophobes, I still can't help remembering when Ben and me had the shit kicked out of us at that Sadie Hawkins dance.**

**So, I figured I'd practice with Kurt, and then, just for those few minutes, I could live in my ideal world where Kurt and me are together. It was sheer perfection, and when I looked at him at the end, I almost thought I saw a spark in his eyes just before he smiled and looked away. That gives me hope.**

**I saw him at my gig. He was trying to blend into the crowd, and the efforts almost made me laugh, which didn't please Rachel one jot (I think she'd convinced herself this was a Broadway stage and not a crappy dollar arcade). Like Kurt could ever blend in! He was wearing a white Prada jacket, skinny jeans, and black boots, and girls were staring at him (fortunately, not for the usual reasons). It was so sweet…STOP IT BLAINE! STOP IT! *facepalm***

**I'm going to make Kurt jealous. (It was Wes and David's idea, they convinced me, and so if anything goes wrong, as I know it probably will with my luck, it is automatically their fault.) I know exactly how I'm going to make him jealous. I'm going to flex my acting skills and act as aloof as possible to Kurt for as long as it takes. Then, I'm going to enter Part Deux to my plan. (I'm not telling you that yet, Diary, because I know full well that Wavid are looking for this, and if they find it, they might intervene and that would wreck my plan.) If everything goes right, he'll finally realise that he's in love with me.**

**God. I haven't just hit rock bottom. There's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me. Brilliant! I've got nothing to lose!**

**Operation Jealousy is on!**

**Blaine x**


	7. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

Chapter 6: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

Kurt's POV

_It's NOT WORKING!_

_I've been trying ALL WEEK to get Blaine to notice me, but it's having the opposite effect! Every time he looks at me he instantly looks away. Have I done something wrong? I've done something wrong, haven't I? Haven't I?_

_Love is a waste of time. It really is. Divas should stay single forever. I always used to roll my eyes at soppy love songs and depressing rejection songs, but now I think I could write a hundred of them. It's true! It's all true, none of it's exaggerated in those songs if they're going through what I'm going through._

_We sang 'Bills, Bills, Bills' from Destiny's Child a couple of days ago. I sang my heart out! I even- *cringe* -beatboxed at one point. All that, just to attempt to get Blaine's attention for just one second. But it didn't work. It never does. He's even spending less time with me out of school. I asked him round to my house to study the other day, and he hurriedly mumbled something about having to 'walk his goldfish' and ran off. Now, I'm no relationship expert, but I'm pretty sure that he's avoiding me. But why?_

_Valentines' Day is next week. I'm going to have to step it up a notch if I want a date. Time for Plan B…_

_Kurt x_

Blaine's POV

**This is so damn painful! It's agony having to avoid Kurt. But once Part Deux of my plan comes into play next week, if all goes to plan, Kurt will come into my arms…**

**It's probably just me thinking this, but ever since I decided to avoid him, I swear he's got more amazing and adorable. I hate that look in his eyes whenever I turn him down for a study date. (Sadly, I'm now missing out on the only thing we did with the word 'date' in it. Sigh.) I ran out of excuses the last time, and I actually told him I was going to 'walk my goldfish'. Smooth, Blaine. Your amazing people skills have triumphed again.**

**Valentine's Day…I can't go through Valentine's Day with Kurt and me being friends. I have hired someone to help…he's a friend from my old school, the only one I had. He's come into town for a couple days and he's going to be the key to my beautifully crafted plan.**

**Wow, this must be what complete rock bottom feels like. Do you think I've become obsessed? **

**No, of course you're not obsessed, Blaine, it's just a healthy interest. Of course, you've done nothing but talk, think about or dream about Kurt ever since he joined the school and for a few weeks before that, but there's absolutely no way this is turning into a stalker-like obsession. Sarcasm. Seriously, Blaine, if you don't get Kurt soon, I am going to kill myself to spare more of your lovesick desperation. And I'm you, so that wouldn't work so well for you.**

**Shut up, other part of myself.**

**No. **

**See! I've actually gone mental.**

**Argh…Part Deux commences next week. If I live that long.**

**Blaine x**


	8. Silly Love Songs

Thank you so much guys! I got 1000 hits yesterday! And an extra special thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed :)

**A certain person suggested a really great idea (I'm not going to tell you who it is, because I don't want to wreck the next couple chapters). As soon as I saw it, the next 4 chapters all started growing and developing in my mind! The next few chapters will be full of 'ARGH!' moments, and you won't get Klaine this chapter I'm afraid-but just keep reading and I hope you won't be disappointed!**

**This chapter is a little different in that it's not written as diary entries, but as scenes. Also, this is going to be longer than my normal chapters, but since my normal chapters rarely exceed 500 words that probably won't be a problem :)**

**Enjoy! Biota xxx**

**I do not own Glee or any of its characters, or the song When I Get You Alone.**

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><p>Chapter 7: Silly Love Songs<p>

Blaine sat in a corner booth in the Lima Bean, fiddling with an ice-cream sundae that had mostly melted to mush, and constantly checking his watch. He breathed a sigh of relief when a certain messy-haired blonde walked through the door.

"Jeremiah!" he grinned, and hugged his friend. "I haven't seen you in ages! What have you been up to?"

"Oh, I live around these parts now, and I work in the GAP at the East Hill Mall. But enough about me-Blaine, I have known you for 5 years, and I know that look. What do you want from me?"

Blaine sighed and rolled his eyes. Jeremiah knew him too well. "There's this guy, Kurt, in my school…and I think I'm in love with him. But he isn't interested in me at all! I need your help to make him jealous." Blaine flushed at the desperation audible in his voice.

The older boy smirked knowingly. "I want fifty bucks."

"Deal. OK, so this is what we're going to do…"

Blaine laid out his carefully crafted plan. Whilst him and Kurt were at the Lima Bean, he was going to approach Blaine and 'ask him out'. Blaine would agree, making Kurt jealous. They would spend as much time as possible together near him, and then stage a massive break-up scene near Kurt as well. Blaine would pretend to be heartbroken; Kurt would comfort him and realise he loved him. Hopefully.

Jeremiah sighed. "OK, I'll pretend to be your boy toy for a couple of weeks. But you owe me, Anderson."

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><p>Wes and David caught Blaine as he came back to school. "So, did weird-hair dude agree?" David asked. Blaine nodded, and laid out his entire plan.<p>

When he'd finished, his heart sank. Wes and David both had that unfortunate sparkle in their eyes, which meant they'd had an idea. And in his experience, their ideas tended to blow up in his face. Like the time they'd filled the pool with peanut butter and thrown him in it, forgetting that he was allergic. Blaine winced-he could still feel the hives.

"A very interesting idea," Wes pondered. "But is Kurt really going to fall for this? He's really smart, you know."

"That's a good point. But we have an idea of our own." David grinned evilly, conversed with Wes for a second, and then dragged Blaine out of the busy corridor and into a secluded, empty classroom.

"The thing is, that Jeremiah guy might not be that great an actor. If Kurt figures out that you hired him to ask him out, he's going to think you're a desperate wreck. Well, you are a desperate wreck. But you don't particularly want him to know that.

"So, why don't you go down to the GAP, where he works, and ask him out? He won't be expecting that, and it'll look more realistic."

Blaine thought for a minute. "But how would I get Kurt in there? Kurt likes Marc Jacobs and Prada. Getting him to go into GAP would be about as easy as persuading Hannibal Lecter to become a vegan. He'd break out in hives the minute he stepped through the door!"

Wes and David smiled identically. "We've got a plan."

* * *

><p>Blaine had never felt more nervous in his life. He glanced at Kurt and quickly looked away. It was actually growing painful to look at him. If this plan didn't work, he knew he'd probably explode.<p>

The Warblers began to hum behind him. It was now or never. Come on, Blaine, let's go make a fool of yourself in front of loads of shoppers, he thought.

_Baby girl, where you at?_

_Got no strings, got men attached_

_Can't stop that feeling for long no, mmm_

Jeremiah stared at Blaine in horror. Oh no. This was not what they'd planned. Nobody in this entire town knew he was gay, and he was very happy about that, especially with seeing Blaine depressed because of homophobic bullying. This was a death sentence. He tried to walk away, but Blaine just kept advancing. Damn.

You making dogs wanna beg

_Breaking them off your fancy legs_

_But they make you feel right at home now, mmm_

Kurt stared at Blaine in horror. The pain of it all. This gay-haired kid obviously wanted nothing to do with Blaine. He was feeling pained for Blaine, who was obviously about to suffer a crushing rebuff. But most of his pain was his own. Why was Blaine crushing on some guy who had no interest in him, when Kurt had been in love with him from pretty much the moment he locked eyes with him, and was never given a second glance?

And all these intrusions just take us too long

_And I want it bad_

_Because you walk pretty, because you talk pretty  
>Because you make me sick<em>

_And I'm not leaving_

'_Till you're leaving_

_Oh I know there's something when she's pumping_

_Asking for a raise_

_Well, does she want me to carry her home now?_

_Well, does she want me to buy her things?_

_On my house, on my job,_

_On my loot, shoes, my shirt, my crew, my mind, my father's last name!_

_When I get you alone_

_When I get you you'll know baby_

_When I get you alone_

_When I get you alone_

Couldn't Blaine take a hint? Jeremiah was practically hiding behind the coat racks but the kid just kept coming. He caught sight of a younger-looking kid with pale skin and blue-green eyes, staring at Blaine with undisguised pain in his expression. So, this was the kid Blaine was crushing on. And from the looks of things, Blaine had been wrong about this kid-Kurt-not taking an interest. Oh, the irony.

And all these illusions just take us too long And I want you so bad

_Because you walk city, because you talk city,_

_Because you make me sick_

_And I'm not leaving_

'_Till you're leaving_

_Oh I pray there's something, she ain't bluffing_

_Rubbing up on me_

_Well, does she want me to make a vow?_

_Well, does she want me to make it now?_

_On my house, on my job,_

_On my loot, shoes, my voice, my crew, my mind, my father's last name  
>When I get you alone<em>

_When I get you you'll know baby_

_When I get you alone_

_When I get you alone…_

Blaine skidded towards the pay counter with a smirk on his face, and held out some socks to the furious Jeremiah.

* * *

><p>"Was it too much?" Blaine anxiously asked Kurt. After five seconds of silence, he concluded the reply. "It was too much." Kurt glanced at his 'friend' and tears built up behind his eyes. How could he do that? Clearly Blaine didn't like him.<p>

Jeremiah came storming out. "What were you doing, Blaine? I just got fired! You can't go busting a groove in somebody else's workplace!" His eyes were blazing. He'd just had to endure his colleagues laughing at him, a couple throwing homophobic slurs, and then his boss firing him. He said it was because of 'inappropriate conduct' but Jeremiah knew in his heart that wasn't the truth.

"And let me get this straight, Blaine. We went out for coffee twice. We're not dating." He wasn't about to let Blaine's plan go smoothly after he'd just got him fired. He was seething. He wanted revenge. And, looking at the porcelain-skinned, attractive boy sitting next to Blaine, he knew just how to get it.

* * *

><p>Depressed as hell, Blaine trudged to the Lima Bean with Kurt to get some coffee. He grimaced at all the hearts and Valentine's Day memorabilia. "Does there have to be so many hearts around? Ugh." Despite himself, Kurt smiled at Blaine's change of heart. He soon stopped smiling when he saw the genuine hurt in Blaine's eyes. Damn it, Blaine must have really liked this boy. Blaine looked at him, and Kurt decided that he was going to do it. He was going to tell him the truth.<p>

"Blaine, when you said that you were going to sing to your crush for Valentine's Day…I thought the boy you meant…was me." Blaine stared at him, astounded. He was about to reply when a familiar face walked through the door.

"Hello, Kurt!" Jeremiah was wearing a vindictive grin and was holding a red rose, and completely ignoring Blaine. "Um, I know this is a little sudden, but Blaine told me about you, and he said how great you were. And since he's obviously not interested," he chuckled, "and we're both single, how would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?"

Kurt was surprised and thought for a second. OK, that was seriously bitchy to ignore Blaine and ask out his friend after Blaine had been so obviously in love. But he'd given up hope of Blaine ever liking him, and he needed to move on. Plus, he was feeling angry at Blaine and a part of him wanted to be spiteful.

"OK," he replied.

Blaine was frozen to the spot. So many emotions were burning in him-hatred, anger, sadness, grief, envy, loss-that he just couldn't stand it. He somehow managed to give a tiny smile despite the tears building up in his eyes, said "I've got to get back to school, Kurt," and ran off, praying that Kurt didn't see him start crying.

"So, Kurt, I'll see you tomorrow?" Jeremiah smirked and walked off. Kurt stared after his friend and his apparent new date. How had things gotten so complicated? Poor Blaine. He shouldn't have done that, Blaine looked so broken to be losing Jeremiah.

He was about to take his coffee and leave when he spotted that Blaine had dropped a book from his rucksack. He picked it up and was about to put it in his bag to give it back to him, when he spotted the writing on the cover.

My Journal

Blaine Anderson

_(Wes and David, if you come ANYWHERE near this thing I will DISEMBOWEL you.)_

Despite himself, Kurt picked it up, sat down at a bench, and feeling a little guilty, began to read.

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><p>Hope you liked the chapter! I know it's very angsty, but I like to torture you all :) Kidding… I promise there will be a romantic moment in the next chapter though.<p>

**Remember, reviews make me write better! Feel free to review ANY suggestions, or PM me! **


	9. Comeback

**This is going to be the format of the next few chapters: this one is a scene, the next one will also be a scene, then diary entries with flashbacks, then a scene. Also, you may be getting a little bit of Klaine romance in this chapter :) And to all the 25 people who have given me reviews: you make my day, you really do.**

**Biota xxx**

**I do not own Glee or the song 'Broken Strings' **

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: Comeback<strong>

Kurt smiled as he saw Blaine's distinctive, spiky handwriting, and could practically hear Blaine saying all the things that he'd written. His writing was so funny and heart-warming, and also sad in parts when he'd talked about his dad and his life at his old school.

Suddenly, Kurt felt terrible. He slammed the journal shut and pushed it away, breathing heavily and glancing over his shoulder. Guilt pulsed through him. If he really loved Blaine, he wouldn't invade his privacy like this. He closed the journal; with no idea how close he was to finally finding out the truth.

Kurt smiled at Jeremiah as his boyfriend eagerly talked about their date last night and how great the musical was. It was great-they shared the same taste in theatre, and Rent had been on at the Queen's Theatre down south-but his words drifted off into the air as Kurt looked at his boyfriend. Really looked at him. The messy blonde hair, a style copy of Blaine's without seven bottles of hair gel to weigh it down…the lanky figure, about a head taller than Blaine's hobbit stature…the chocolate brown eyes, with Blaine's just a shade darker…his voice just a semitone deeper than Jeremiah's…

"So? What do you think?"

Kurt snapped out of it and mumbled an unintelligible reply to his boyfriend. Yep, he was definitely getting over Blaine all right. Absolutely. He'd only thought about him about thirty times in the past minute. Progress.

* * *

><p>"I'm telling you, guys, it's no use. He's happy with Jeremiah now." Blaine tried to ignore his friends, who were buzzing around him like flies to a rubbish bin. Too bad he'd forgotten to bring a flyswatter.<p>

"What? The homeless-looking closeted dude? With our beloved Porcelain?" Wes looked horrified.

"You need to get him back. Fast! Before Jeremiah gives Kurt fleas."

Wes and David looked concernedly at their friend. The light had gone out of his eyes. He looked-god forbid-just like he'd looked when he first came to Dalton, when he hadn't had any friends and the scars of homophobia were still visible on him, both physically and emotionally.

"We'll think of something, Hair Gel Boy. We promise."

Blaine blocked out his friends' chatter. He had already decided what he was going to do. He was going to get himself a boyfriend and attempt to push Kurt Elizabeth Hummel way back into the friend zone. It was the only way.

* * *

><p>Blaine was never going to get a date at this rate. Not with Tweedledum and Tweedledumber tracking him like something out of a bad James Bond movie.<p>

Seriously. He'd asked out four guys today. Two people, who Wes and David swore were not them, donning penguin masks, had thrown the first into the pool. The second ran away, being chased by two very familiar penguin-masked people holding nerf guns and water balloons. The third, after being asked, was instantly attacked with half a can of pepper spray by a mysterious figure and ran, screaming, to the nurse. And the fourth, a very sweet but slightly dim-witted animal lover, actually made it to saying 'yes' when a TV behind them both instantly flickered to life, showing a poorly photoshopped picture with the caption "BLAINE ANDERSON EATS PUPPY!" The prospective boy had screamed, bitch-slapped Blaine and ran off muttering something that sounded like 'sick bastard'.

Ah, this looked promising. Jake O'Driscoll. A handsome, music-loving Warbler with an Irish accent that turned the girls' knees to jelly (too bad he was openly gay). And no penguin masks in sight. He walked over to Jake, smiling. Too bad he didn't see the security camera trained on him.

Before he could blink, they had sprinted in from nowhere. Wes yelled "OH MY GOD! PAVAROTTI'S GOTTEN LOOSE!" Jake unwittingly looked up, scanning the ceiling for their beloved little canary, so he didn't see Wes' trademark gavel make its way into his hand…

THWACK.

Jake made a sort of 'meh' noise and, almost in slow-motion, collapsed, unconscious, onto the carpet.

"GO GO GO!" Wes and David each grabbed one of Blaine's legs and arms and hurled him into an empty classroom. Dazed, Blaine got up and rammed himself against the door, but David just grinned evilly and held up a heavy-duty padlock. He mouthed 'nighty night', high-fived Wes, and they ran off. Blaine knew there was no use trying to knock the door down or make any noise-the room was soundproofed and the door was solid metal, as he'd just found out. Rubbing his painful shoulder, he sighed, lay down on the floor, and decided that the only thing to do now was sleep.

* * *

><p>"Hi? Umm, you've been asleep for like, half an hour, and I've tried to wake you up in every way I could think of, so if you don't wake up soon, I will have to hit you over the head with this dictionary. And this is a big dictionary."<p>

Blaine woke up with a start. The first thing he saw through his blurred, sleepy eyes was a boy. He had tousled, wavy, light brown hair; clear grey eyes, and a shy smile. He was probably about fifteen but his cute, rounded features made him look younger.

"Hi," he babbled, "I'm Andrew. I hope you don't think I'm a stalker but I saw you in here and it's about four o'clock and I recognised you from the Warblers and I was worried you'd miss practice so I came in through the other door because for some reason the first one has a lock on it…"

THE OTHER DOOR? Blaine turned around, and sure enough, there was another door. An unlocked one. *facepalm*

"Hi, Andrew, I'm Blaine. Thanks for warning me about Warblers practice." He smiled at the younger boy. Now he was looking at him, Andrew was cute. Not in the way that Kurt was cute, but still kind of adorable.

They chatted on the way to Warblers practice. It turned out that Andrew had just joined the school and was now a member of the Warblers. It also turned out he was gay (he'd slipped out that he was sad because he'd left his boyfriend behind and they'd broken up, although Blaine had already suspected he was that way inclined-come on! He was wearing foundation!) After practice, Andrew ran up to him, shyly handed him a slip of paper, and ran off.

The slip read, 'I kind of like you. Would you like to go to a movie tomorrow? Maybe?' and a phone number. Blaine smiled at the boy's obvious anxiety and put the slip in his pocket. He'd think about it.

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed as he attempted a bunch of calculus problems. He liked being challenged at Dalton, but he'd found calculus evil at McKinley, and it was twice as evil here. Five minutes through, he conceded that he was going to get a C, and started doodling on his notepad.<p>

He looked at what he'd been doodling and gasped. He had been drawing hearts with 'B+K' in them. Horrified and guilty, he violently erased the B and turned it into a J. He felt better now. Old habits die hard, he reasoned.

All of a sudden, a familiar guitar beat started faintly diffusing through from the next room. Curious, Kurt got up from the desk and peeked through into the next room. A _very _familiar figure was strumming a guitar, his untamed, dark brown hair for once ungelled, and he was obviously unaware of Kurt's presence-he was too engrossed in the music. He recognised the song and smiled as Blaine began to sing in that voice that could rival anyone's.

_Let me hold you, for the last time_

_ It's the last chance to feel again_

_But you broke me, now I can't feel anything_

Before he even knew what he was doing, Kurt instinctively walked into the room, startling Blaine. They just looked at each other for a second with a mutual understanding, and then Kurt started to sing the next lines.

_When I love you, it's so untrue_

_I can't even convince myself_

_When I'm speaking, it's the voice of someone else_

Blaine had heard it so many times before, but that beautiful countertenor voice could still render him speechless.

_Oh, it tears me up_

_I try to hold on but it hurts too much_

_I try to forgive but it's not enough_

_To make it all okay_

Their voices, so quiet and tentative before, slowly getting into the song and becoming louder and more powerful as they sang this song that seemed to explain it all.

You can't play on broken strings

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh, the truth hurts_

_And lies worse_

_How can I live any more_

_When I love you a little less than before_

Their eyes, one pair deep, chocolate brown, the other a mix of blue, green and gray, becoming misted over with tears.

_Running back through the fire_

_When there's nothing left to save_

_It's like chasing the very last train_

_When we both know it's too late_

_Too late_

_You can't play on broken strings _

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_

_And lies worse_

_How can I live any more, no_

_When I love you a little less than before_

_And we're running through the fire_

_When there's nothing left to save_

_It's like chasing the very last train_

_When we both know it's too late_

_Too late_

Both staring into each other's eyes that conveyed everything they had both refused to realise. That they still tried to deny.

Let me hold you for the last time

_It's the last chance to feel…_

They both sang the last word together. _Again._

Wordlessly, they both clutched each other to each other's chest, in an embrace that contained all the emotions that they'd attempted and failed to bottle up for so long.

Kurt was about to tell him. "Blaine…I need to tell you…"

Just as he was about to say what he knew, what he had known, on some level, all along; their moment was broken when the door was flung open and a young boy jumped into the room, a happy smile on his face. Kurt and Blaine sprang apart like repelling magnets, and Blaine once again resumed that normal, tense, cordial smile that had been his stock expression lately when he was around Kurt.

"Hey, Kurt, this is my boyfriend Andrew."

As Andrew started gushing to Blaine about their date the night before, Kurt slipped out of the door as unnoticeably as possible and tried to erase what had just happened from his memory. Of course, he couldn't, but it was worth a shot. He sat down on a bench, pulled out Blaine's diary, and cried silent tears that splattered onto the cover like an abstract artwork.

He saw Blaine chatting to Andrew at the bottom of a flight of stairs nearby and ran towards him.

"Hey! Blaine! I found your journal-

For the first and only time in his life, Kurt had been in such a hurry that he'd forgotten to tie his shoelaces. And that was to be his downfall. He tripped and hurtled down the stairs head over heels, and landed in a heap at the bottom, just missing Blaine.

After checking he hadn't sustained any broken bones, he looked for the journal and found it, upside down and splayed at a page. He was just about to close it when he caught sight of his name on the entry. Strange. He must have not read this far.

The entry was short, and read;

**25****th**** February 2011**

**Oh. My. God. Kurt is at my school! Still gorgeous, still emotionally ripped to shreds…and I'm still totally in the friend zone. Sigh. It's so obvious that he doesn't like me. STOP IT! Sorry, Diary, you must be bored to tears. Probably if I write down the word 'Kurt' one more time, you'll just crawl into the fireplace and burn yourself to cinders. **

**I guess I should just concentrate on being Kurt's friend. **

**That Neanderthal terrorised Kurt out of McKinley. If I could see him, I would rip his head off his damn shoulders, I don't care that I'm a hobbit. (Yes, I'm a total hobbit, and that's why I climb on furniture when I sing…although I'd rather die painfully than let Wavid know that, even though they already suspect it, let alone Kurt). But anyway, it's obvious how upset Kurt is, so I'll be a friend and show him around and smile and not give a single inkling that I might be in love with him…**

**Shit! Did I just write that down? If Wavid get hold of you now, Diary, I'm completely screwed! Where's that heavy-duty padlock?**

**Gotta go, Diary. I promised Kurt I'd take him for coffee.**

**Blaine x**

Kurt didn't know how long he'd been in shock. It could have been a minute or a century. All he knew is that his world had been thrown into disarray.

Could it have been true all along?

Blaine…in love with me?

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><p><strong>Let's leave it at that for this chapter, folks! Be sure to keep reading, I'll have the next chapter up soon, probably tomorrow because it's half-term and I have no social life. <strong>


	10. Blame It On The Alcohol

**Hi guys!**

**Because I didn't update yesterday, I've decided to give you TWO chapters today-a prologue, and the next chapter. I like this chapter-it's my namesake, after all :)**

**This chapter is kind of a filler chapter, I guess, making way for the next two chapters, putting things in place. I've incorporated the actual storyline from this episode and merged it with my own storyline because this episode was quite Klaine-centric. It's got angst, confusion, and at the end, a VERY important plot point. This chapter is quite Kurt-centric.**

**Sorry about the lack of Klaine! I know it's probably putting you all in agony waiting for them to *finally* get together…but I swear their time will come. Just keep reading, I have it all planned out! There is going to be a LOT happening in the next two chapters. **

**I NEED YOUR OPINION-SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS FIC AFTER ORIGINAL SONGS? That was where I said I'd end it, but I can continue it if you guys want :)**

**Enjoy! Biota xxx**

**I do not own Glee or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Blame It on the Alcohol<strong>

Blaine was actually feeling great for once. He'd got a cute boyfriend, his grades were fine, and he'd finally managed to block out his feelings for Kurt Hummel. Sure, every time he saw Kurt a shiver went up his spine, but he could just about restrain himself from doing anything or saying anything or thinking anything... As much as it physically hurt, he could. And now it was getting easier.

So WHY had Kurt just decided to invade his life again by inviting him over for a guy's movie night? He couldn't say no, because that would prove to Kurt that he was trying to alienate himself from him…so here he was, slouched on a sofa, watching movies with the boy he loved, and not able to say or do anything in fear of being rejected…

God. Love sucks. It really does.

"I love this movie…" Kurt sighed happily and ruffled Blaine's hair playfully. "Seriously, Blaine, how much gel do you put in your hair? I like it better without it. It feels like a colony of Jell-O is living in there. And it's breeding like rabbits."

Blaine tensed up as Kurt absentmindedly wound his fingers through Blaine's hair. Please, he prayed, please, someone, get me out of this before I explode…

As if on cue, Jeremiah, Kurt's boyfriend, burst through the door. Blaine, relieved, sprang away from Kurt, said "I'll leave you boys alone," and ran out of the door before Kurt could stop him. He'd made it. He could still be friends with Kurt and not let it lead to anything.

But his common sense was telling him that he couldn't keep up this façade for much longer.

* * *

><p>"Hi, you," Jeremiah smiled. It was supposed to be a warm smile, but Kurt couldn't help but think it looked more like a victorious smirk. He smiled in return. "Hi! What are you doing here?"<p>

"I missed you." Without warning, Jeremiah lunged-yep, that's the only adjective that Kurt could use to describe that action. He lunged. Without warning, his lips were suddenly on Kurt's. But it wasn't a nice, sweet, "Hello" kiss. It was an "I must have you now," possessive kiss. And Kurt didn't like it at all.

"Whoa!" Kurt pulled away and instantly felt a bit bad at Jeremiah's puppy-like expression. He couldn't help but think that Blaine was a lot better at it though. Puppy-like expressions, he meant, not kisses. But he couldn't help but let his mind wonder what Blaine was like at kissing… "Kurt, we've been dating for two weeks and you still kind of tense up if I lay a finger on you. I'm eighteen! I'm dying here! When I dated girls they were putting out by now!"

Kurt straightened up and glared at Jeremiah. "Maybe I want to take things a bit slower! In case you don't remember, I've only kissed one guy in my life, and that was against my will! That really hurt me, I can't believe you'd do the same thing he did!"

Jeremiah looked sheepish. "I'm sorry, Kurt. It's just…you're so damn gorgeous…" Kurt looked at his boyfriend, gave a sweet smile and sassily waved his finger. "It's OK, but just keep it PG for now, alright?" Jeremiah stared after him as Kurt walked away.

* * *

><p>"WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?" Kurt stared at the journal angrily; half hoping that it would magically give him the answer. Blaine was in love with him! All along, pretty much from the moment their eyes locked in that busy Dalton Academy hall, he'd fallen in love with Kurt! And Kurt had always thought that his feelings were unreciprocated…<p>

When he'd first read those few magic words, he'd thought about confronting Blaine. But then he had sat down and done some serious thinking. He was with Jeremiah now. Blaine was happy with Andrew. They had both finally pieced their lives back together, and they had both somehow mended their broken hearts. He couldn't have his heart broken again. He'd never cope. He'd already gotten over Blaine and he wasn't about to do it again. Plus, what if Blaine's feelings were gone now? Was it too late?

Eventually, Kurt had said to himself, "Just leave everything alone, and eventually things will go back to how they were before you met Blaine."

So that is how he'd decided to live. How long for? He didn't know. Sure, every minute lasted centuries; every glance at Blaine almost brought him to tears. And Mercedes and Rachel had vehemently disagreed with him, saying that love was too precious to leave alone.

But what did they know? He'd told himself. They were both single.

However, that encounter with Jeremiah had left him with nothing but doubts. Because when Jeremiah had kissed him, he'd felt…nothing. Not a single spark-let alone fireworks. But he could just look at Blaine, and it wasn't so much fireworks as NUCLEAR BOMB EXPLOSION.

What had he done in a past life to deserve this? Had he been Hitler or something?

* * *

><p>Blaine had agreed to go to Rachel's party with Kurt on the basis that he knew how boring Rachel was, and he was sure the party would end after about half an hour of everyone nervously looking at each other and drinking their 2 allotted wine coolers.<p>

But he hadn't counted on Puck's supreme lock-picking skills and the fact that Rachel's dads had a loaded liquor cabinet.

He groaned as a chink of light entered his vision and his head jarred with pain. Bits and pieces of the night before were seeping through into his memory…doing the moonwalk and falling over…drinking shots off Brittany…the drunken duet with Rachel…

Rachel.

Fuck.

He'd kissed a girl. And he'd liked it. Fan-frickin'-tastic.

Wait a second. Where was he? This was not his room, and he could recognise that even through the deadliest hangover he'd ever had in his life.

No. Not possible…

Burt Hummel strolled through the door, confirming his worst suspicions. He fixed Blaine with a horrified stare, and then Kurt with the same stare when Kurt, sleepily adorable, trudged out of the bathroom. He could faintly hear Kurt shouting something that sounded like 'we were fully clothed, dad, he just crashed here after the party,".

Wait a second. Fully clothed? What was Burt accusing them of?

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Could something…have happened last night?

Brilliant. Just brilliant. He'd cheated on his boyfriend by kissing someone else, at least once and possibly twice, and one of those two possible people was a girl. And it had felt nice. And the other one was the boy he was horribly in love with, to quote Shakespeare. AND he had the worst hangover he'd EVER experienced.

Blaine groaned, got up (despite the horrendous headache), was relieved to find that he was fully clothed, and grabbed his phone from the bedside table and called a taxi. By the time Kurt came back to the room with some toast, Blaine was gone.

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><p>Kurt had just finished explaining to Blaine what happened last night, and assuring that Blaine didn't make a move on anyone except the kiss with Rachel (Blaine had seemed very relieved after that; what, did he think that he'd tried to make a move on Kurt? Nope, that only happened in Kurt's dreams…) when Blaine's phone rang.<p>

"Oh, hi, Rachel."

Kurt smiled. Rachel had a girl-crush on Blaine! Finally, at least he had a better chance than somebody.

"Is she drunk?" he laughed. Blaine shushed him and smiled as she said something else.

"Yes, sure, I'll meet you at 6. Bye!"

Blaine grinned as he put the phone down. "Rachel asked me out!"

Kurt laughed, and then abruptly stopped. "Wait, why did you say yes? You can't lead her on!"

"Who says I'm leading her on?" Blaine smiled. Kurt froze. No way. Blaine had always been so confident, so sure of himself. He'd been out of the closet for three years. No WAY was he about to tiptoe back in.

"Blaine, you're gay."

"I used to think that, but…I've never even had a boyfriend before Andrew, and we've only been going out for a couple weeks. Isn't this the time where you're supposed to figure stuff out? Maybe I'm bi or something."

The next sentence out of Kurt's mouth came out way more aggressively than he'd meant to, fuelled by anger at Blaine, anger at Rachel, and most of all, anger at himself. "Bi is just an expression gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel normal for a change. You've got a BOYFRIEND, Blaine! You're cheating on him! Plus, you were in love with-Jeremiah," he stopped himself from saying 'me' at the last second, "so you can't be straight! Snap out of it!"

He instantly regretted every word when he saw Blaine's expression, a mix of anger and hurt, and heard Blaine's clipped tone. "Well, I'm sorry if this is confusing for you, but maybe you should take into account that it's a million times more confusing for me. I'm just trying to figure stuff out, and I'm very sorry if that makes you upset. Seeya." He stormed off, then stopped and looked back before sarcastically saying "I'd say 'bye' but I wouldn't want to make you angry." He stormed out of the room. Kurt put his head in his hands and felt like screaming. This wasn't fair on Andrew, Rachel, or Blaine himself, and it ESPECIALLY wasn't fair on him! He needed to take action, and to do that, he'd have to talk to the boy who had everything he wanted.

* * *

><p>"Hi, Andrew!" Kurt plastered on a big, false smile, which the surprised younger boy returned with an enthusiastic one of his own. "How are you?"<p>

"I'm good! You're Blaine's best friend, Kurt, right? He talks about you all the time! You must be a really great guy!"

Kurt couldn't help himself; he was warming a bit to this excited-puppy-like young boy. He considered for a millisecond not going ahead with his plan, but he steeled himself. He changed his smile to a sad one. "Andrew, I need to tell you something. It's for your own good, and Blaine's too. But you can't tell him I told you. OK?"

Andrew looked confused and curious. "OK, come in here and tell me." Kurt was pleased with himself. Maybe he should have taken drama. They ran into a secluded classroom (jeez, there were a lot of secluded classrooms in Dalton) and Andrew sat down on a desk.

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

Kurt sighed. "Blaine kissed one of my friends at a party we both went to. He's so confused…"

Andrew blanched. "H-how could he do that to me? We've only b-been going out for t-two weeks!" He looked like he was going to cry. Rather than feeling happy about tricking the boy, Kurt felt terrible. This kid really was a nice kid and the only crime he'd committed was to like a single guy. He had no idea about Kurt's feelings.

"Oh my god, Andrew, I forgot the important part! My friend's a girl. Her name is Rachel and she has a girl-crush on Blaine." Andrew instantly relaxed a little and some colour came into his cheeks. "Oh, that's OK. I did the same thing when I was with my last boyfriend, Kieran, at my old school. He's just experimenting-he needs to get it out of his system, and I'm fine with that. But I wish he had talked to me and told me-I wouldn't have minded! I just didn't expect it-he's always been so sure of himself!"

"You should talk to him. Maybe you can snap him out of it. It would make me feel a whole lot better-I mean, it would make him feel a whole lot better." Kurt had convinced himself that this was not for his own selfish gain. And it wasn't. Right?

"OK, I'll talk to him." Andrew smiled and walked away. "Nice meeting you!"

* * *

><p>Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. He'd just called Rachel, who had told him that Blaine had decided to stop their relationship. That Andrew kid must have done a good job.<p>

He picked up his journal and wrote in the latest entry.

I'm happy that Blaine's not confused any more. His life is finally slotting back into place. I see now that I kind of messed it up.

_Blaine, I love you. And I know you love me. But it was never that simple. Nothing's ever that simple._

_So, please give me a sign that you're over me, that you don't have feelings for me any more. A sign. Any sign. Then I can maybe start to get over you. Because as much as I tell myself I have, I know I haven't. _

_Andrew's a nice kid. You two go well together. You both have the cutest puppy-dog eyes and you both have hair that can only be tamed with sixteen bottles of super-strength hair gel. _

_If I love you, I'll let you go._

_Kurt x_

Kurt closed his journal and wished that Blaine could see every word in it. Then he'd know.

Wait. What?

Kurt abruptly sat up. Maybe there was a chance. If there was the tiniest, absolutely miniscule chance that on some level, Blaine was still in love with him, then why was he wasting time sitting here?

He knew what he was going to do.

Almost on autopilot, he raced to Blaine's room, and brought a paperclip out of his pocket. He picked the lock (he'd been taught by Puck a couple of months before), quickly checked there was nobody inside, and surreptiously left his journal in Blaine's rucksack. He raced out of the room and crossed his fingers that for once, something would work out in his life.

* * *

><p>Andrew skipped down the corridor. Things were great. Blaine was awesome, his grades were good, and he wasn't getting bullied like he had his whole life. And he didn't even miss Kieran any more!<p>

He reached Blaine's room and remembered that he left his school blazer in there when they were hanging out yesterday after school. He opened the door-strange, why wasn't it locked? Blaine was always so careful-and looked inside. He saw his blazer slung over the back of a chair, and as he picked it up, he accidentally knocked over Blaine's bag.

"Damn it, Andrew! You're such a muppet!" He muttered to himself as he picked up Blaine's books that were strewn over the floor. He stopped when he saw a strange, light-blue book that seemed to have been hurriedly stacked on top of the others because it had fallen in the opposite direction.

**My Journal**

**Kurt Elizabeth Hummel**

What was that kid Kurt's journal doing in here? It had fallen open at a page. He was about to close it when he caught sight of the latest entry. His conscience screamed at him to put it down, but he couldn't help himself. He started to read.

Andrew recognised what he was feeling when he put down Kurt's journal.

Jealousy.

That damn girly boy was trying to steal his Blaine! _**His **_Blaine. He must have put the journal in here on purpose!

Andrew knew this part of himself. The possessive, jealous part. He didn't like this part of himself-it only caused trouble. But he couldn't stay Mr. Nice Guy any more, or he was going to lose Blaine! In a fit of jealous rage, he tore out the latest entry and ripped it into a thousand pieces, and threw them out of the window. Then, he took the journal and roughly shoved it into the back of a drawer. A sweet, vindictive smile spread over his face. Now Blaine would never know, and that stupid, pathetic, lovesick boy could go die in a hole for all he cared.

You're too late, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel.

You missed your chance.

* * *

><p><strong>I purposely made Andrew a bit of a bitch at the end because he was being just a bit too nice for my liking. I hope you liked the chapter! The next chapter is definitely NOT going to be filler! It's going to have Klaine romance in it! And by that I don't just mean a duet together…but I'm giving way too much away!<strong>

**If you have any thoughts, opinions or ideas, don't hesitate to review!**

**Biota xxx**


	11. Sexy

**Sorry about the wait, I got seriously stuck on doing this chapter because it's the one before the last one…**

**I will do 'Original Songs' at some point next week. **

**This has some very important plot points. Angst and a bit of romance too…but I won't go into details! The episode's called 'Sexy' so I figured there should be a little bit of romance…but there isn't much of the plotline of the actual episode in this chapter.**

**Enjoy! Biota xxx**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: Sexy<strong>

_Blaine's lips were pressed against Kurt's like they didn't want to let go. His hands were twining in Kurt's hair, and Kurt's arm was around Blaine's waist, and it felt just…perfect, like it was meant to be like that, always. Blaine pulled away and grinned as he kissed Kurt's neck. Kurt arched his neck instinctively and let out a groan. He could do what he was doing with his lips forever as far as Kurt was concerned. They were completely intertwined together as Kurt looked into Blaine's chocolate-brown, beautiful eyes._

"_You look so damn gorgeous…"_

_Blaine gave a sleepy-looking smile and shut him up with another kiss. Things could never get better than this…_

"Argh!" Kurt abruptly sat up and felt terrible. He'd had this dream night after night after night. He couldn't help but think it was a good thing that he didn't know much about sex, because he couldn't help but think that if he did, the dreams would expand to incorporate any knowledge he discovered…here he was, having sexy dreams about someone, when his boyfriend of three weeks was asleep just down the corridor. And he wasn't just dreaming about someone; he was dreaming about his best friend, and the guy who was crushing on Kurt's current boyfriend.

But the worst thing was that the dreams made Kurt feel one hundred times better than when he had kissed his boyfriend for the first time the week before. Sure, Jeremiah had kind of forced it, and had apologised afterwards, but there should have still been sparks, right? But there wasn't. There was nothing.

And yet, whenever he even glanced at Blaine, there was more than just sparks. It wasn't even fireworks. It was NUCLEAR BOMB EXPLOSION territory. And it had gotten to the stage where whenever he saw Blaine, he just wanted to pin him down and do things to him that even he didn't know about completely…he was blushing just thinking about the kind of things that had run through his ever-dirtying mind. He had tried looking some stuff up on Google, but after about a second of reading the Wikipedia page he had turned off the computer. He wasn't sure he was ready to know that stuff yet.

At least Jeremiah was at his school now, since he'd decided to go to college the next year. If he wasn't, Kurt knew that it would only be a matter of time before he just said to himself, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him…"

Kurt curled up and tried to get back to sleep. Sleep was the only place where he had nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p>The first thing Blaine saw when he woke up was his boyfriend staring at him.<p>

"ARGH!" He screamed and sat up abruptly. "Whatthehellareyoudoing?"

Andrew giggled. Blaine softened a little; his boyfriend was very cute. _But Kurt's cuter, _a little voice in his brain whispered. Blaine sighed and attempted to visualize little henchmen walking into his brain and beating the little voice to death with sticks. Unfortunately, it never worked for long.

"Wes and David suggested it to me. They said it freaks you out. And clearly they're right."

Blaine groaned and got up, thankful that since his boyfriend was wearing Spongebob pyjamas, he didn't have to be embarrassed about his squirrel ones. He opened his tie drawer and was about to reach into it when his boyfriend pounced.

Before he knew it, Andrew's lips were on his and they had collapsed onto his bed. Blaine was about to stop it, but it felt good. And for once, the little voice had well and truly shut up.

"OK, that's enough." Blaine smiled and pulled away from the boy sitting next to him. "What was that in aid of?"

"Oh, nothing." Andrew smiled, but Blaine could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes, and something flashed through his expression that he couldn't quite decipher. It looked a little like…guilt, or that he had something to hide. Blaine ignored it. Probably nothing.

"Here, I'll get your tie for you." Andrew quickly grabbed a tie out of the drawer and shut it.

"Come on, we'll be late for class."

"I'll be there in a second!"

Andrew quickly checked that Blaine was out of the room, then opened the tie drawer, grabbed Kurt's journal and shoved it into a different drawer. That had been a stupid idea to put it in the tie drawer, which Blaine used regularly. Thank god the kiss had been an adequate distraction. He smiled sweetly, a vindictive look in his eyes. Blaine would never get his hands on that journal. Not as long as he lived.

* * *

><p>"Hi, beautiful." Kurt forced a smile as his boyfriend wandered over. He was trying to look seductive, but Kurt couldn't help but think that he looked smarmy. He sat down uncomfortably close to Kurt and his hand wandered onto his shoulder, then a bit lower, then a bit lower…until Kurt eventually slapped it very hard, said "I'll talk to you later," and hurriedly ran off. He didn't actually stop running for twenty minutes, in case Jeremiah was chasing him.<p>

Jeremiah constantly came on to Kurt now and it was kind of irritating. Of course, it was nice to have the attention, but he wished that Jeremiah would get the hint; he wanted to go slow with this relationship!

_No you don't, _his mind whispered, _you just can't take having a physical relationship with someone else, because it'll feel like you're cheating on Blaine._

Don't be so stupid, he thought, I don't feel like I'm cheating on Blaine.

_So why do you pull away from Jeremiah every time Blaine comes near you?_

Damn you, conscience. He blocked out his thoughts and pulled out his phone to send a text to Jeremiah apologising. He'd gotten to the messages before he realised that it was Jeremiah's phone, and he'd picked it up accidentally. Kurt was about to put the phone away, when his eye caught sight of the latest text, to a girl called Kaycee.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi babe! Can't wait to be with you tonight! Six-month anniversary tomorrow, and we're going to celebrate all right…I've got plans with that Kurt kid, but don't worry, I'll blow him off, it's not important.<strong>

**J xxx**

* * *

><p>Jeremiah was pleased with himself. He was going great with Kaycee. Kaycee didn't know that she was just a way for Jeremiah to deny his sexuality (he'd told her he was bi), but Jeremiah could fake an entire relationship if it maintained his reputation. Plus, she was quite pretty.<p>

And this 'open relationship' thing was working brilliantly for him-he'd got Nathan as his bit on the side and now Kurt as well! He was having his cake, eating it and making trifle out of it too. But, unfortunately for him, in the next five seconds, that was about to change.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

Before he knew it, Kurt had burst through the front door and was unleashing 100 pounds of pure gay fury on him. Jeremiah had six inches on Kurt but he was no match for him.

"I SAW YOUR PHONE! YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME SINCE THE MOMENT WE MET!"

On some level, Kurt had actually expected this. Jeremiah had blown off a couple of their dates by saying that he had to go to a science study group in school. But Kurt had seen him going off school grounds those days, although he hadn't thought anything of it.

A bruised and bloodied Jeremiah attempted to dodge Kurt's blows whilst reasoning with him. "She means nothing to me! She's just a way of protecting my street cred. Nobody would talk to me if they knew I was gay. But you're the only person that matters!"

A small part of Kurt wanted to believe Jeremiah. To stop beating him to death, to pretend to believe him, and then he could just carry on with this relationship. But a bigger part was telling him that this wasn't a relationship, it was a sham. Plus, beating Jeremiah's face in felt _really _good, when he'd had his face beaten in so many times before.

"Then who's Nathan? Is he 'nothing' too? Give it up, Jeremiah. I don't care if your 'girlfriend' or whatever she is, and you are in an open relationship. We weren't. And I'm going to officially be using the past tense from now on because we are O-V-E-R. Over."

Kurt started to walk out, but Jeremiah realised too late that he was getting a run up to boot Jeremiah in the kidneys. He doubled over and howled.

"That was for Blaine. I read the rest of Blaine's journal and I know that you were a way for him to attempt to make me jealous. I know he's in love with me. You know it too, and yet you were happy to get me just to spite him. I can't believe I didn't see through it."

Jeremiah tried one last plea. "Please…Kurt…it's all a mistake…"

_**THWACK.**_

Jeremiah recoiled. Kurt had just, literally, bitch-slapped him. He would laugh if he weren't slightly afraid that his jaw had been dislocated.

"Get the hell out of my life."

Kurt was about to close the door, but he turned around just for a second. "And by the way, I probably wouldn't try calling your girlfriend, because I sent her a text from you, and you told her you were gay and she meant nothing to you. Just trying to get you to be more truthful."

He smiled that adorable smile, and closed the door. Jeremiah rolled over and groaned.

* * *

><p>Andrew was doodling hearts on his sketchpad. "If me and Blaine ever get married, he's taking my surname. Blaine Powell sounds like a superhero name, but Andy Anderson is the name of that girl from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, and she irritates me," he was thinking to himself.<p>

He was trying to distract himself. It was worrying. He'd heard about that kid, Jeremiah Sherlock, who had been taken to hospital with a fractured rib and three broken teeth. Officially, he'd fallen down 2 flights of stairs onto a Cupid statue. Unofficially, everyone was spreading a rumor that Kurt had gone all ninja on his ass because he'd been cheating on him. With a girl. Ouch, that had to sting. Kurt was the most talked-about boy in school, and Wes and David were secretly selling jumpers with a picture of Kurt and the caption "Chuck Norris + Gay Anger = Kurt Hummel". Kurt had denied everything, but nobody believed him, especially since it was common knowledge that he was now single.

Now, he didn't particularly care about that Jeremiah kid, and ordinarily he wouldn't care about Kurt Hummel's love life. But Blaine was included in that love life. _His _Blaine. And he knew full well that Kurt would try to go after Blaine.

So it was completely essential that the journal stayed hidden. Andrew opened the blanket drawer and felt around for Kurt's journal. He was going to hide it behind the skirting boards.

He paled and his head felt light. No. Oh, shit.

It was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like the chapter! The next chapter is the *FINAL* chapter! I have it all planned, but it will probably take a couple of days at least. You'll have it by this time next week, probably earlier. There will be angst and a truckload of romance, and a Wavid subplot. Just how I like my fics!<strong>


	12. So Close

**Well, guys, this is the very last chapter of If Only I Could Read His Mind. Thank you for being such incredible readers and reviewers, and I hope you liked this fanfic and the finale especially :)**

**Well, here's what you've all been waiting for…**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11: So Close<strong>

A roomful of studying Warblers. Kurt bent over his Latin conjugations and sighed. Whoever invented Latin should be in Hell by now for all the pain they'd caused him. Why the hell did he need to know what "I am going to the shops to buy a cucumber' meant in Latin? If, per se, time travel was invented before he died, and he perhaps popped back to 84 BC, he was pretty sure that it wouldn't be to shop for questionably shaped vegetables. And even if it were, why would he have to explain what he was doing to random Roman onlookers? It all just seemed like a huge logic fail.

The doors launch open, and Blaine, Wes and David are already harmonizing. Oh great, another Top 40 pop song impromptu performance. Why couldn't they do something from a musical for a change? Or 'Rio' by Duran Duran. But no, it was always Maroon 5.

So scared of breaking it that you won't let it bend

_And I wrote 200 letters I will never send_

_Sometimes these cuts run so much deeper than they seem _

_You'd rather cover up; I'd rather let them be_

Kurt stared at the love of his life singing to his cute boyfriend, and subconsciously snapped his pencil. The constant handholding and staring he could handle, but love songs? Really? He thought about making his excuses and leaving, but a slightly masochistic part of himself kept his bottom glued to the seat.

So let me be and I'll set you free

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah_

_Why won't you answer me?_

_Your silence is slowly killing me!_

_Girl, you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_Now, I'm gonna get you back_

_I'm gonna get you back_

Andrew loved this public attention from Blaine. It was like marking his territory-like what cats did by pissing on everything. Yet a paranoid and jealous voice was whispering maliciously, "You know that he's not singing to you. He's singing to Kurt. He keeps looking over his shoulder at him. He doesn't love you, and he never, ever will." Andrew's fists clenched and he tensed up, but he relaxed when he saw Kurt's agonized expression. He was winning, and it felt so good.

Your salty skin and how it mixes in with mine

_The way it feels to be completely intertwined _

_It's not that I didn't care, it's that I didn't know_

_It's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show_

Blaine directed every word Andrew's way, but he could only picture those ocean eyes…and there was a reason why he picked this song. It was his song. He could have written it himself.

So let me be and I'll set you free

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah_

_Why won't you answer me?_

_Your silence is slowly killing me!_

_Girl, you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_Now, I'm gonna get you back_

_I'm gonna get you back_

Wes was dancing like a crazy person, which was a great distraction from David whipping out his 'travel binoculars' and pressing them to his face so hard they left comical-looking rings. Being on surveillance duty 24/7 was a small price to pay if they could muscle out that puppy-faced man-child. Maybe if he could distract Mr. Hair Gel, they could whack Man-Child over the head with a Cupid statue and feed him their patented and only-slightly-dangerous truth serum. But David couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something, somewhere in this case.

He never noticed a boy staring at him with conflicted emotions in his slanted eyes.

_You say your faith is shaking  
>But you could be mistaken<em>

_You keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun_

_I'm desperate and confused_

_So far away from you_

_I'm getting there I don't care where I have to go!_

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah?_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah?_

_Why do you do what you do to me?_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me?_

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me_

_Why won't you answer me?  
>Your silence is slowly killing me!<em>

_Girl, you really got me bad _

_You really got me bad_

_Now I'm gonna get you back_

_I'm gonna get you back_

Five people, all with a missing puzzle piece.

* * *

><p>"We have called this emergency Warblers meeting because Regionals is next week, and the council wishes to make a change." Wes paced dramatically up-and-down the practice room. "You see, Blaine-for those of you who don't know him, you should, he's the thirty bottles of hair gel with a person attached-has been getting a lot of solos. Too many. We're sick of it."<p>

David chimed in. "So, we are going to mix it up by making the lead at Regionals a duet. Blaine, we want you to pick a duet partner that will go well with your voice, and whose vocals you _love so much you could kill yourself._" Blaine stared at him. He might as well have held up a neon billboard saying "If you don't pick Kurt for this, we will kill you in your sleep. Painfully."

This would be the perfect chance. Kurt was single now. If they were practicing together every day for hours, there would be plenty of time to chat…and something more…

Then another boy's worried gaze caught his eye. Shit. Boyfriend.

He couldn't abandon Andrew like this. What was he thinking? He was going to finish singing and then suddenly go, "Did you see the new Vogue cover? Have you finished that damn Physics homework Brewer set yesterday? And by the way, I love you, have done ever since I laid my eyes on you, and every time I see you I really want to pin you down and do extremely X-Rated things to you". Yep, that would definitely be romantic. Romantic enough for Kurt to maybe draw a heart on the restraining order. There was no way he could do this without scaring Kurt off. How do you ask out your best friend? And did he really want to wreck his first ever relationship, when it could all be for nothing?

"Umm…I pick…"

The whole of the Warblers were staring at him, eyes boring into his back.

"…Andrew."

There was a collective groan throughout the Warblers, who had all long guessed that Blaine was in love with Kurt and vice versa, and were becoming extremely tired of the eye-sex that went on between them. Blaine looked around suspiciously and they all suddenly had mysterious hacking coughs. Wes and David were visibly attempting to knock themselves out with their own gavels.

"Come on Andrew, let's go pick out a song. There's no time to waste!"

The whole of the Warblers turned to Kurt. He was staring into space, with a glassy look in his eyes. Then he stood up, looked around wildly, and fled the room.

* * *

><p>Two days until the performance! Blaine was scared out of his frickin' mind. He could handle Sectionals, but Regionals? Each of the other teams had Regionals experience, and he's seen the New Directions-they were good, really good. Argh!<p>

He'd picked out the song with Andrew, and they'd both agreed it was perfect. And Andrew did have an amazing voice. But what if he screwed up? What if his hair gel solidified under the stage lights? What if he forgot the lyrics? Dear god, what if he started singing…to Kurt instead of Andrew?

There was only one thing that helped in this situation. A couple of hours with some very fattening cake, The Lion King (his secret favourite movie) and his deathly secret vice…his squirrel blanket. He knew it was stupid that a 16-year-old had a cuddle blanket, but whenever he held it, it was like the world melted into chocolate. It reminded him of his mom, the only thing he missed from his life back home.

He opened the 'Blankets and Other Soft Artefacts' drawer (his OCD meant he had a burning need to categorise everything) and felt for the squirrel blanket. It wasn't at the top like usual. Plus, all the blankets were creased, like someone had hurriedly moved them. He dug out the squirrel blanket, tugged at the drawer, and it fell out. Cursing, he reached to put it back in. But something was jammed into the chest of drawers that prevented him from doing so.

It looked oddly like…a journal…

**Whoops! Guess I lied. The **_**actual **_**finale will be here soon. Aren't I evil? :D This is Filpot, a cross between filler and plot. Very short, I know. Sorry!**

**BIOTA xxx**


	13. Original Songs: The Finale

**Well, this is it. After just under a month, here is the finale of If Only I Could Read His Mind. And this time, it's not a mean trick :)**

**Thank you all so much for reviewing and there was an overwhelming majority that wanted this to not be the death of IOICRHM. So, it won't be…THERE'S GONNA BE A SEQUEL PEOPLE! I won't give too much away, but let's say that we may well see Andrew swivelling on a chair stroking a white cat and laughing maniacally. I am not yet sure of the name. Any suggestions for the sequel, both for name and plotlines, are very very very welcome!**

**Before I get on with the story, I would like to give a shout-out to a few people. Blaise (FreakingOutAndJoiningDalton) for being my 50th reviewer; ItsNessie for being my 25th Favourite; Gleek1121xo for being my 75th Alert; VioletHillBeautiful for forming the basis for my last few chapters; and, last but definitely not least, ALL OF YOU for getting me up to exactly 11,270 hits and 59 amazing reviews at this precise moment of writing this chapter! I joined FF only a month ago and I never even dreamed I would get that many :)**

**OK, I'll quit procrastinating now. Here's what you've all been waiting for.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: Original Song<strong>

The squirrel blanket had long since been discarded to the floor. The cake was left uneaten. He could barely even comprehend that he'd been focused entirely on Regionals just an impossibly short couple of hours earlier.

Blaine's heart was beating at a feverish pace, a distinct rhythm. _Kurt-Kurt-Kurt-Kurt-Kurt._

The world had become a blur. There was no way this could be anything but a dream, right? Things like this don't happen to people. The only place for people falling in love with their best friends is those stupid romantic comedies. Surely he would have noticed that Kurt was acting weirdly?

_No, you wouldn't, _a voice in his head piped up, _because, as you expressively said to Kurt, you're completely clueless and you suck at romance, which would have definitely made him consider you better boyfriend material, asshole. _Blaine couldn't even bring himself to imagine the voice being strangled-it was right.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. If only he'd known! He cringed slightly as he thought of all the things he'd said or done while Kurt was there, all that took on a completely different meaning now that this had been revealed. The flirty duets…the whole Jeremiah saga…Andrew.

He knew he should be ecstatic. This was what he had been dreaming of for the agonising months that he'd had to suffer seemingly unrequited love, while he was plastering on a fake smile for his friends but crying himself to sleep at night.

But he couldn't help but let the tears flow again and cry until his tears dried up.

Because he couldn't help but feel that his chance had gone.

* * *

><p>Kurt hadn't just hit rock bottom. He'd fallen from the sky and hit every branch on the way down, then hit rock bottom, then sank through 500 feet of crap, and finally had come to a rest in a void of complete blackness.<p>

He'd contemplated his options and realised, with horror, there was only one thing he could do. He'd rather give up his moisturising routine for the rest of his life than do it, but it was literally his last chance. And desperate times call for very desperate measures.

Kurt grabbed the phone and dialled.

"Wes? David? I need you to meet me in the cafeteria in fifteen minutes. Come alone."

"Ooh, sounds intriguing. Can we set our iPods to the James Bond theme tune and pretend we're assassins?" There was a childlike glee in Wes' voice and Kurt couldn't help but chuckle.

"If you must. But only non-lethal weapons."

"Aww…"

* * *

><p>"I'm in love with Blaine." He blurted it the second they walked through the door, and all three of them froze. After an incredibly long few seconds, the tension was broken when Wes and David high-fived each other and David begrudgingly gave Wes five dollars.<p>

"Yeah, we suspected. The whole of the Warblers and most of the school is fairly sure."

"Except Blaine, of course, but he has the awareness of a cucumber."

"Sliced, diced or whole cucumber?"

"What the hell does it matter?"

"It always matters, Wes."

Wes and David started getting into a heated cucumber debate when Kurt bitch-slapped both of them. They both squealed like little girls and stopped fighting.

"Wow, you're really good at that. No wonder that Jeremiah kid's cheeks were the colour of tomatoes for about a month." David clutched his stinging cheek and grimaced.

Kurt rolled his eyes, but was secretly a little bit sadistically proud of that. "Focus! What am I going to do? How do I tell him? I know he's in love with me too…but he's with Andrew now."

At that name, both Wes and David instinctively snarled and unconsciously adopted a fighting position. "Who? Man-Child? Trust us, we can deal with him. We have our methods." At this, they looked at each other and winked. Kurt started to feel a little uneasy, although he couldn't help but laugh at Andrew's uncanny nickname. They were right-Andrew did look a bit like a toddler in a teenager's body.

"I don't want you to cause him any grievous bodily harm. All he did was fall in love with Blaine."

Wes and David wore identical wicked grins and calculating expressions. "Don't worry, we won't."

But somehow, Kurt was uninclined to believe them.

* * *

><p>Wes and David had more than one reason to be targeting Andrew, as he would soon find out.<p>

Andrew closed the door to his dorm. His hands were shaking but he felt content, if nervous as hell. Sure, he didn't really care about show choir-it was just a way to rebel against the 'straight' activities his parents attempted to force on him-but if he screwed this up, Blaine and the rest of the Warblers would hate him. He would lose his carefully crafted image. That, he couldn't afford.

He flicked on the light.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL?" He staggered backwards in disbelief, shock and horror.

Two figures stood nonchalantly in the middle of his dorm, both wearing gory-looking masks. One held a chainsaw and the other a stun gun. The one with the stun gun took a menacing step towards Andrew, and was poised to turn on the stun-gun when Andrew emitted an ear-piercing wail and began to cry.

"NOOO! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I WANT MY MOMMY!"

The younger boy slumped to the floor, tears streaming down his face. He'd clearly fainted from shock. Wes and David peeled off their masks and grinned.

"Step One, Scare the Shit Out Of Man-Child: Complete." The two grabbed Andrew's limp body and dumped it on the bed. He gave a weak whimper and whispered "Please don't hurt me, I'll give you gummy bears," in a scared-sounding voice before blacking out again.

"Gummy bears? That kid would definitely not do well in a real hostage situation."

"I don't know, if they were fizzy gummy bears…"

"Now is not the time, Wes."

"This plastic stun-gun is amazing-so realistic! Where did you get your fake chainsaw?"

"It's not fake. I thought he might cause trouble."

"You are going to be in a mental hospital one day."

"Well, why do you think we're best friends?"

"We're not."

David looked up sharply. "What do you mean, we're not?" He looked up and met Wes' eyes.

Had they always been that vividly green? He'd never noticed before, but they were a lovely colour, even more so with the spark of youth and excitement that was always alive in them, and the colour was accentuated by Wes' skin tone. And that hair! So perfect, without Blaine's hair gel obsession or Kurt's two hours in hair and makeup before he saw daylight.

Wes raised one eyebrow and David realised that he'd been staring at Wes without talking for about two minutes. They both hurriedly looked away and Wes muttered something about them being practically brothers, not best friends.

"Yep, of course…brothers." Wes glanced at David who was concentrating on the plans, and fought to keep the tears out of his eyes. David put on his SAW-movie mask again, and faced a barely conscious Andrew, who was now beginning to hyperventilate, having seen the array of dentistry tools laid out on the floor that Wavid had stolen from Sue Sylvester.

"What are you going to do to me?" Andrew looked up with circular, horrified eyes, and David wordlessly took out a light-blue journal from his rucksack with the words "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel" emblazoned on the cover. He held up a silver syringe full of an unidentifiable liquid to the light, and Andrew stifled his scream.

"Here's a hint-if you like having the ability to breathe, Andrew _Vivian _Powell, don't mess with our boys' hearts."

Everything goes black.

* * *

><p>"EMERGENCY WARBLERS MEETING, BACKSTAGE NOW!" Thad, Wes and David all looked completely petrified. There was fifteen minutes until they were set to perform on stage. Everyone was in identical costumes (except for Kurt who had decided to rebel by wearing a scarf). "WE ARE MISSING ONE OF OUR LEAD SOLOISTS!"<p>

The whole group erupted into intermittent freaking out and screaming. They had worked so hard for this, for months and months. The Warblers had never made it to Sectionals, due to constantly coming up against the machine that was Verbal Ephedrine (1) (a show choir of a rival school). Now, this was going to be wrecked.

"Who is missing, and where is he?" several people yelled.

"Andrew Powell, Blaine Anderson's duet partner, is unable to perform. Other students have been calling in, telling us that he was found in a ditch ten miles away from school this morning, in an unconscious state, after lying on his phone and sleep-dialling the principal. The nurse says he won't wake up for about a week."

At this, Wes and David subtly winked at each other. Nobody saw it except Kurt. Shit, what had they done to Andrew? Actually, Kurt was having a growing feeling that he really didn't care what they'd done to Andrew. He knew it was mean, but as long as the kid wasn't decapitated, Blaine was way more important.

"So, we need a new duet partner for Blaine, and pronto. We don't have time to choose one, so-who knows the lyrics off by heart to the song?"

No hands were raised and whispers spread like wildfire throughout the group that became more and more panicked. Thad put his head in his hands. "Well, I guess we'll have to forfeit-"

"I'll do it."

There was a collective sigh of relief as a pale arm came into view over the crowd. They all backed away, leaving Kurt Hummel exposed with his arm in the air and a nervous expression on his face. "I know the lyrics, and I can do it."

"Thank god!" Thad had an expression of utter relief. "Where's Blaine?"

"In the back room, freaking out, attempting to practice and failing." The group fell silent and they could hear Blaine's muffled shouting and something that sounded like 'What the hell did I do in a past life?'

Kurt sprang up and began to sprint towards the practice room, barely hearing Wes' yell; "You've got 5 minutes, make them count!" He would. He was going to make those 5 minutes count in more ways than one.

* * *

><p>Their dreams of a Regionals victory were wrecked. They'd arranged the song to do it as a duet and they couldn't change it back now, they'd have to change all the accompaniments, the timing…it would take 5 weeks, not 5 minutes. Blaine gave an anguished, strangled sound and threw another book across the room from his bag of sheet music.<p>

"Hi there."

Blaine froze, another book still resting in his hand. He could hardly dare to rotate his head.

"Kurt?"

The boy with the snowy complexion and ocean eyes inclined his head and smiled. "I think we'd better practice, we've only got five minutes. So, what's the basic arrangement of the duet? I haven't seen much of it, being a ukelele and all." His curious, nervous, yet excited-looking face was possibly the most adorable and sexy thing Blaine Anderson had ever seen. Why the hell had he made that comment about the gas-pain expressions Kurt was pulling during Animal? This, natural Kurt, was seriously the most achingly sexy human being that Blaine had ever laid his eyes on. He was actually mentally undressing his best friend. He blushed bright pink.

No. They weren't best friends. Or at least, not for much longer.

"Umm, here's the music book to show you the arrangement." In a move that was one-third accidental, one-third fate and one-third deliberate, Blaine withdrew the only book that mattered from his bag and silently handed it to Kurt.

Time didn't exist any more when Kurt saw what he knew he would see on the cover.

_**"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel-My Journal."**_

Instinctively, Kurt reached into his pocket and passed Blaine a book, his eyes full of shock and disbelief. Blaine didn't bother to look at what was on the cover. He already knew. And now his heart was beating at the rate of a jet engine on overdrive. Kurt looked soft and adorable and so…kissable?

Somehow, they had gravitated towards each other. They were barely five inches apart now, and Blaine could hear Kurt's heartbeat, through the silence, quicken as his fingers brushed against the back of Kurt's hand. They both looked up at the same time. Kurt was about to turn away in embarrassment when he saw the look in Blaine's eyes. It was a look full of happiness, love-and lust.

"Did you really mean what you said in your journal?" Kurt's voice was beautifully melodic, with that hint of nervousness about the answer Blaine would give.

Blaine answered in the way he'd wanted to for so long.

He leaned in slowly so that his light olive forehead was gently touching Kurt's snow-white one, and felt Kurt's slight shiver. He took a moment to comprehend what was about to happen…

And captured Kurt's lips and soul with his own.

It started off as a gentle kiss, full of love and pure relief that they were finally together in every sense of the word. But as they both came to terms that they were both kissing the person they had wanted to for so long, the kiss deepened and a fiery passion came through. Kurt's tongue grazed Blaine's bottom lip and Blaine let out an involuntary moan. He slipped his tongue into Kurt's mouth and Kurt enthusiastically responded, bringing them both down onto the piano stool and causing the piano to boom out a clash of notes, but Kurt and Blaine had never cared less. Kurt's hands were running through Blaine's hair and Blaine's arm snaked around Kurt's waist and it felt…perfect. They were kissing deeply and passionately, their legs feverishly twining together, when the door flew open.

Blaine looked sideways to see that Wes and David were grinning ear-to-ear. Blaine reluctantly pulled away from Kurt and rested his forehead against Kurt's. "Kurt, that was my way of saying-yes. I meant every word."

"Me too," Kurt whispered breathlessly, an involuntary smile breaking out over his features. He grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Finally, Wes, if they had spent one more second eye-fucking I would have jumped off a bridge."

"I'll second that." Despite their jokes, Blaine could hear complete and utter joy in their voices. He took the opportunity to kiss Kurt again. The feeling of Kurt's soft lips against his-it was intoxicating, and they only broke apart when Wes and David threw a barrage of books at them.

"We need to go! We're on in thirty seconds and I can gather that you haven't had much-or any-practice as the lead, Kurt, so if we fail, remember that we know where you live, and we know that you have a cat who probably doesn't like being run over."

Kurt grinned and quickly kissed his new boyfriend. "Don't worry, I have a sneaking feeling that we're going to ace it."

* * *

><p>"Has anyone ever, literally, died on stage?" Kurt's teeth were chattering as he stared at the curtains and tried to block out the noise of the crowd. "I'm so nervous, I can't help but think that I'll forget the lyrics or go off key…"<p>

Blaine's warm smile and melted-chocolate eyes instantly made Kurt feel better. "I think that's adorable, I think _you're_ adorable, and the only people dying will be those out in the audience because we are going to _kill _this." And Kurt believed him.

The curtains flew up and Kurt's breath caught in his throat. He never thought that many people cared about show choir so much. The happy-go-lucky music began to play, and he grinned as his new boyfriend leapt on stage with infectious enthusiasm, and began to sing in that voice that made girls' knees turn to jelly. (And his, for that matter.)

_Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it_

_I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted_

_I fell right through the cracks_

_And now I'm trying to get back_

His cue! Hurriedly Kurt skipped onto the stage and could see that some of the audience looked surprised that two boys were duetting on a love song, and the devout Christian judge had begun to scream and hold up a crucifix, but none of it mattered. This was their song now.

_Before the cool done run out_

_I'll be giving it my bestest_

_And nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention_

_I reckon it's again my turn_

_To win some or learn some_

Blaine wanted to crack up laughing and kiss Kurt at the same time with the faces he was making. He knew Kurt had no comprehension, but those were real flirty faces-not gas pain faces, thank god.

_I won't hesitate, no more, no more_

_It cannot wait, I'm yours_

Improvisedly, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and Kurt did a cute, flirty little twirl that the crowd applauded. Their harmony was perfect-nobody would have guessed that they'd never done any practice. Kurt killed the next few lines in that gorgeous falsetto:

_Well, open up your mind and see like me_

_Open up your plans and damn, you're free!_

_Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love_

Blaine playfully bounded to the other side of the stage and retorted with the next lines:

_Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me_

_I like peaceful melodies_

_It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, love, oh_

It turned out that their summery, playful enthusiasm was infectious. The whole audience had started swaying and dancing or singing along. Even the homophobic crucifix woman was involuntarily swaying her cross in time to the music mid-screech.

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more_

_It cannot wait I'm sure_

_There's no need to complicate_

_Our time is short_

_This is our fate, I'm yours_

Suddenly, in a move that nobody had envisioned, Blaine and Kurt ran offstage and pushed Wes into the spotlight. Nervously, he stared out, then turned to a shellshocked David and began to sing in a cautious but still very talented voice.

_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror_

_And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer_

_But my breath fogged up the glass_

_And so I drew a new face and laughed_

_I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason_

_To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons_

_It's what we aim to do_

_Our name is our virtue_

David's face had cracked into a shocked grin and he took Wes' hand. He'd had his suspicions but this was the clincher, and he definitely wanted Wes to know that he 100% reciprocated.

_I won't hesitate, no more, no more_

_It cannot wait, I'm yours_

By now, the arrangement had gone to hell and random boys were singing to their boyfriends in the Warblers or their girlfriends in the audience (or possible girlfriends, or ex-girlfriends, or other boys' girlfriends) with Blaine and Kurt leading it all. Wes and David were at opposite ends of the stage but couldn't take their eyes off each other. And the world wouldn't have had it any other way.

"_I'm yours!"_

The audience erupted in cheers-even Crucifix Woman stopped screaming racial and homophobic tirades for a moment. The curtains dropped and Wes instantly ran to David and they began some extremely noticeable, noisy and joyful kissing until eventually, the rest of the Warblers managed to prise them apart.

Blaine grinned, and handed Kurt five dollars. Kurt grinned back and linked his arm through Blaine's, resting his head against his shoulder.

"You know what?" Kurt's voice was dreamy and childlike.

"What?"

"I don't really mind if we lose today. After all, we killed it, but not just that. Even if we lose, we win."

Blaine gave Kurt a curious look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we've won each other. So did Wes and David. Thad's won Jake's girlfriend and Jake's won a chance to thump Thad in the face repeatedly. We all won something."

Blaine stared adoringly at his boyfriend. "Can I claim my prize now?"

Kurt inclined his head, gave Blaine the sexiest "Hell yes," look possible, and kissed Blaine deeply. And in that moment, just those few seconds, everything in the world seemed to be perfect.

* * *

><p><em>Five Days Later<em>

In a hospital bed in Dalton Academy, Andrew Powell groaned and opened one eye. His head and left arm ached like hell and he couldn't remember much. Two guys in masks…a syringe…a journal…

Kurt's journal.

Blaine.

Why wasn't Blaine there? He wanted his Blaine to come and kiss him and tell him he'd be fine. But there was no boyfriend at his side, no bunch of flowers or box of chocolates on his bedside table. Not even a text message.

Ah, there was Blaine. He saw Blaine pass the windows, avidly talking to Kurt about something. Show choir, probably. He heard that they'd lost because the homophobic Regionals sponsor had threatened to sue if they won. Oh well, he didn't really care.

Wait, what?

Why was Blaine's hand encased in Kurt's fingers?

Why was Blaine even talking to Kurt, when he belonged to Andrew?

WHY THE FUCK WAS KURT KISSING ANDREW'S BOYFRIEND?

When that terrible, horrible kiss ended, Blaine turned around and saw Andrew. His expression became horrified, then one of regret. He whispered something to Kurt and walked into the hospital wing.

Tears flowed and insults were thrown like javelins, then the apologies and the pleading came, but the damage was irreparable. Andrew had lost his boyfriend. The only thing cementing his image at this school, the only thing that meant he could gain respect-his only footladder to the top of the school.

Oh, and he quite liked Blaine too.

And who had snatched Blaine away from him?

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel.

He stared at Kurt and he felt something change in him. Jealousy had fermented into pure, murderous hate, taking over the passive side of the old Andrew and morphing it into something new. Something terrifying and exhilarating. The old Andrew would have shied away from it, saying that we have to be _nice _and we can't _hurt anyone's feelings._

Well, you know what? The old Andrew was a snivelling wimp. The old Andrew had cost himself Blaine. The new Andrew was going to get him back and nothing would stand in his way any more. Who cared about rules or morals? They couldn't buy you power. They couldn't buy you love.

His eyes were like ice and they bored into Kurt's back as Kurt walked away with _his _Blaine's heart and hand.

Nobody could do that to Andrew Vivian Powell and get away with it.

Nobody.

* * *

><p><strong>FIN<strong>

**Well, that was the finale of IOICRHM! Thank you all so much for being incredible readers. In the sequel, it will again be Klaine and Wavid-centric, with Andrew being the main antagonist. Basically, Andrew's going to go completely batshit insane and do things you would never have expected from him. Any suggestions are 400% welcome, please review, it makes my day! The sequel will be started either in the next couple of weeks, or maybe at the start of the summer holidays because I'm really busy for the rest of term.**

**I love you all, and I hope you enjoyed my very first Fanfic! (If you liked my writing, I am currently in progress of a murder fic called the Blood Diaries, also a Glee fanfic. I'm on Chapter 3.)**


	14. The Sequel Is Nigh

**Hi my incredible readers and reviewers! **

**If you enjoyed IOICRHM, the SEQUEL IS NOW UP PEOPLE! It is called 'Freefall' (at least for now, any suggestions for alternate names are extremely welcome) and is a futurefic, starting two years after the events of IOICRHM. It is much darker that IOICRHM and has crime and action aspects, but still that all-important romance and angst. Plus the romance goes quite a bit past kissing this time… :D Although I am not up to writing full-scale sex scenes, I'm sixteen and my parents would burn me at the stake...**

**So, anyway, come and take a look! I'm quite proud of it so far. **

**(P.S. If you happen to read my second fic, The Blood Diaries, I promise I will update soon, I have a severe case of writer's block about what to write next)**

**Keep being awesome! ;)**

**Karah/Biota xxx**

**Here's the link to Freefall:**

**.net/s/7203075/1/Freefall**


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